What to Do When You’re Being Bullied at Work and HR won't Help
- Andrea Fryett
- Jun 18, 2025
- 3 min read
Updated: Jun 18, 2025
A trauma-informed survival guide for employees navigating workplace Bullying without HR support.
*Please note. This was written through the lens of someone living in BC Canada. You should have similar legal resources in your community.
You spoke up. You followed the policy. And somehow... things got worse.
If you’re being ignored, punished, or blamed after reporting bullying or harassment, you’re not alone. Many employees find that internal HR systems protect the employer, not the employee. This guide is here to help you survive that situation — with clarity, strategy, and dignity intact.
1. Recognize What’s Actually Happening
You might feel confused, unsure if you're overreacting. Here are common signs that this is more than just “a bad fit”:
✅ Healthy Disagreement | 🚨 Harassment or Bullying |
Respectful challenge of ideas | Repeated personal attacks |
Focus on work outcomes | Undermining your character or reputation |
Clear, constructive feedback | Constant criticism with no clear standards |
Accountability for all | Blame shifted onto you alone |
Room to improve | Punishment no matter what you do |
🔍 If your feedback is vague, impossible to meet, or always moving — you may be facing a paper trail setup (a “performance improvement plan” that’s really a setup to fire you).
2. Start Documenting — Now
Even if you're not ready to file a formal complaint, start a private log today. Keep copies outside of your work devices. Log:
What happened
Who was present
What you said / did
What they said / did
How it made you feel / any impact
What steps you took to resolve it
🛠 Want help? Download our
3. Understand Why HR Might Not Help
This part hurts — but it’s empowering once you see it:
HR works for the company, not for you.
Their goal is legal risk mitigation, not justice or healing.
Many HR departments close ranks around senior staff or known bullies.
They may even turn your complaint into performance criticism against you.
That doesn't mean you're wrong. It means the system is rigged. And that means we play it strategically.
4. Shift from Emotion to Strategy
It’s normal to want to cry, yell, or explain — but when HR isn’t on your side, your best protection is professionalism plus paper trail.
Use what we call Tactical Professionalism:
Mirror their tone: calm, direct, unemotional.
Stick to facts: quote dates, behaviors, outcomes — not feelings.
Ask confirming questions in writing:
“Just to clarify, are you saying that…?”
Document your professionalism so if you need to prove misconduct later, you’ve shown maturity and clarity.
📥 Want scripts? Download our
5. Know Your External Options
If your internal report isn’t helping, explore external support:
Issue Type | External Option |
Verbal harassment, toxic culture | WorkSafeBC complaint (bullying & harassment) |
Discrimination (race, gender, disability, etc.) | BC Human Rights Tribunal |
Retaliation, constructive dismissal | Legal consult or Access Pro Bono |
Health-related burnout or stress leave | Doctor’s note + Medical EI or Leave of Absence |
🧭 Not sure which one fits? Use our
6. Protect Your Health & Future
Even with all the strategy in the world, toxic workplaces eat away at your health and self-worth. If you’re being isolated, gaslit, or emotionally drained:
Speak to a doctor or therapist (you may qualify for stress leave or EI).
Start quietly preparing a “Tactical Exit Plan”: update resume, gather references, start documenting everything.
Know that staying isn’t always brave — sometimes the bravest thing is leaving on your terms.
🧘♀️ Try our “Work Trauma Recovery Kit” for journal prompts, rituals, and grounding tools.
Final Words
If HR won’t protect you, protect yourself. If leadership won't lead with integrity, you still can.
You are not weak. You are not overreacting. You are navigating a broken system with courage and clarity.
You do not have to go through it alone.
👉 Visit Growth and Grit Studio for tools, coaching, and a community that gets it.
Disclaimer:
The content provided by Growth and Grit Studio, including all coaching sessions, courses, downloadable tools, videos, and written materials, is based on personal experience, research, and practical workplace strategy. It is intended for educational and informational purposes only.
I am not a lawyer, therapist, or licensed mental health professional. Nothing shared should be interpreted as legal advice, mental health counseling, or a guarantee of outcome.
While the tools and strategies I offer are rooted in real-world applications and my own lived experiences of workplace bullying and recovery, your situation is unique, and outcomes will vary.
Please consult a qualified legal or mental health professional for advice specific to your case.
By participating in this program or using these materials, you acknowledge and accept responsibility for your own actions and decisions.
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